I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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