I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
