It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Drake has all the answers
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
