I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
