do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
the raccoons are back...
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