I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Come see our sink grown plant.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
