Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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