I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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