i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i came on her dog
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Randomize
