i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
If its not for food we ain't going out.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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