I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
