Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
