Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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