well I can't set my house on fire every night
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
