I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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