Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
