I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
