Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He felt like a one man threesome
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
