Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
