I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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