I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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