Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
