Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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