Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
