every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
