so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
