I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
