awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
