Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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