Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
so much tequila, so little girl.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
