If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
