weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
