i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
