she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
