Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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