To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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