just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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