he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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