I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Randomize
