You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she smelled like a LAN party
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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