and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he thought i was a dude.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
