Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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