it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
