I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
