I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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