My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
