I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
