the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
