Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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