what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
